A Life Lived in Fear...

... is a life half lived.

A few years ago, my three older children wanted to try out for a musical. We practiced a song, pretended like mommy and daddy were the judges, everything we could to prepare them for an audition. We got to the theater and filled out all the paperwork. My six year old son was called first. He has no fears and confidently went in before the "judges" and performed his song. My older son and daughter were in the next group. Just as their group was called, both of them chickened out. I told them this is a one shot chance. If they didn't go now, they were going to miss out They decided not to try out.

My six year old son made it into the Children's Chorus, and had a blast. Come show time, he got so spoiled with late nights, ice cream with mommy and daddy on opening night, treats from other family members that came to see him, a tshirt, the works! My older son said to me, "I wish I would have been in the play" and I reminded him how he had the chance.

There have been situations since then that I've had to remind my oldest son on how he will miss out on so many great things if he continues to be afraid.

Then in look in the mirror....

I struggle with those same fears.

Yesterday, I had a rough day with the kids. For one reason and then another, my patience was running short with them. I started to get discouraged and afraid. How am I going to do this full time when I can't even handle one weekend day?? Why do the children that I LOVE so dearly, drive me so crazy sometimes??

I fear that I will do this for a few months and realize I can't. Then what? All this planning, praying, hoping....

So I must rely on the Lord's strength, so that I can fulfill His plan for me and my children. I don't want to miss out on the great things God has for me when we do it His way.